Gratitude and Thankfulness: Active in Christianity and Coaching
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body, you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do. Whether in words or deeds, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
- Colossians 3:12-17 -
This passage invites us to remember many things, one of which is the posture of thankfulness and gratitude with the word of Christ dwelling in us. (Additional depth is available in the surrounding verses.) When Christ’s word dwells within us, our lives can be transformed beyond our ability. This touches even the postures of thankfulness and gratitude; two words complement and reflect one another.
In coaching, these elements can be foundational in various ways, including communicating effectively. ICF core competency #6 (1-4): “Listening actively" rooted in gratitude and thankfulness allows each session to be a gift. A coach can remain in partnership/agreement with what the client brings and movement forward as a valued gift rather than a possible distraction.
One example has occurred numerous times through coaching. Frustration can arise when a client brings up topics of difficulty or patterns.
Yet there comes an opportunity as a coach:
What is the client communicating on a deeper level?
Keep in mind the client's context, values, and environment. (See competency note below #1.) Listening with gratitude and thankfulness allows the client to do the same. Often, this has opened the conversation for attributes out of frustration or being stuck, looking at what the client is communicating more deeply. By actively listening, we can become equipped as coaches to understand the client's process and the invitations offered in the session. A client should never be expected to process how a coach expects; however, how is the client in their way in reflective speech, self-awareness, gratitude, and thankfulness? Are these aspects missing from the client's vocabulary, or are they being shared more deeply or personalized by the client? Not only is our joy and presence lightened through thankfulness and gratitude, but the experience between coach and client can also shift.
The posture in which we live our lives is a testimony to our faith and others. As coaches, we can meet clients with active listening. Gratitude and thankfulness can shift our focus from pains to healing, obstacles to possibilities, and isolation toward community. The fruits of our lives show up in how we listen to clients and how a coach is equipped to come alongside a client. Gratitude and thankfulness begin to change the atmosphere of coaching sessions and serve as an invitation within our lives as Christian coaches. As the passage shares, clients can also be invited to include forgiveness, humility, kindness, gratitude, and thanksgiving toward themselves and life!
ICF Competency:
Communicating Effectively 6: 1-4 Listens Actively:
"Definition: Focuses on what the client is and is not saying to fully understand what is being communicated in the context of the client systems and to support client self-expression
Considers the client’s context, identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs to enhance understanding of what the client is communicating
Reflects or summarizes what the client communicated to ensure clarity and understanding
Recognizes and inquires when there is more to what the client is communicating
Notices, acknowledges and explores the client’s emotions, energy shifts, non-verbal cues or other behaviors."
(Quoted from the ICF Core Competencies Website)
