Steps for growing in your coaching skills
by Cristina Dragomir, PCC, Executive coach
One question that I often hear from many of our Focos graduates is: "How can I continue to grow in my coaching skills?" That’s a question that I always welcome. Our coaching journey is not easy. It takes constant effort and commitment, doesn't it? Coaching is not like learning to ride a bike, it is rather a life long learning journey. You don't learn it once for a life time but continue to sharpen your skills, ask more thought provoking questions and expand more your listening abilities.
The discovery process continues in every coaching session, as we follow God’s guidance listening to words, emotions, patterns and meaning, and partner with the client to discern potential and growth opportunities.
The ICF core competency #2 Embodying a coaching mindset describes a mindset that is “open, curious, flexible and client- centered - a process that requires ongoing learning and development, establishing a reflective practice, and preparing for sessions.”
One thing that’s really exciting about coaching is that no matter where we are in our coaching development, there is always more to learn, more to discover and experience. So, what helps us embody a coaching mindset?
We need to become comfortable getting into the unknown. Each coaching conversation is unique, no matter how many similarities we may identify with other topics or clients.
One real obstacle in the way of our deep listening is our ‘knowing’, that feeling that we already know about the topic and the reality that the client describes. When we already know, what need would be for being curious? Our ‘knowing’ filters much of what the client brings and it often becomes our main limitation in the way of our exploration, in partnering with the client and listening to what they are saying and not saying, their verbal and non-verbal.
We need to unlearn, to be in a state of mind that is open to what the client brings, be fully present and notice the energy cues, contrasts and contradictions that the client offers in the session. This kind of open, curios mindset, flexible to adapt to what the client brings is something that we constantly develop. We notice patterns, contrasts and contradictions that we bring back to the client to increase awareness.
“You just mentioned how excited you are to make this role change. As you’re saying that I noticed that your body language does not express that kind of excitement. What are you becoming aware of?”
Our growth process is the result of many steps that we intentionally take, having good mentors or supervisors by our side to guide us and help us learn even from our setbacks.
When we look back to what has helped us grow, we realize that there was actually a journey and each single step made a difference. We realize that it requires commitment and determination for us personally but also being part of a community of coaches where we can interact with other peers and experienced coaches and access a variety of resources.
Even more, the community has constantly challenged us in our growth process and fueled our determination to grow. Because the moment we start thinking that we’ve learned enough in that very moment we actually stop growing. We need that humbling desire for more discovery in each conversation and that curiosity will make us strive for more in our growth.
Going back to the question that I often get - How can I continue to grow in my coaching skills? It shows me that the motivation is already there. Opening up a dialogue with one of the trainer coaches from FOCOS Platform will help you find the best options for you to continue to sharpen your coaching skills.
Here are some great resources available on the Focos Platform that you can help you take the next step in your growth as a coach. And as you think of others who would like to learn how to coach, you can send them these links to upcoming FOCOS trainings. Let’s build up together the Christian coaching community!
