Crossing the Cultural Divide: how to serve your cross-cultural clients
by Tina Stoltzfus Horst, M.S., Master Trainer
Recently I met with a client from a culture very different from mine. Chang’s topic was a distressing family issue. My questions didn’t seem to be connecting with her and Chang was having difficulty forming options. I asked what communication she’d had with the parents about her needs. Chang laughed good naturedly and replied, “Oh, I could never request this of them. I could not ask. My husband has said I must just live with this”. I realized that I must have missed some key understandings based on my cultural assumptions!
Coaching cross-culturally requires both knowledge of cultural value differences and the ability to adapt to them. Embodying a Coaching Mindset means “remaining aware of and open to the influence of context and culture on self and others”; and Cultivating Trust and Safety includes “adapting one’s coaching to the client” (ICF competencies 2 and 4).
Cultural values operate deep below the surface of the conversation, but shape behaviors, attitudes, expectations, and decision making. Understanding cultural value continuums gives us a shortcut so we can recognize these differences in the coaching conversation. Even if we have the greatest motivation possible to coach cross-culturally, we cannot utilize culturally appropriate strategies until we have this knowledge!
Because I am familiar with the language of cultural value continuums, I remembered that Chang’s culture valued Indirect communication, while mine valued Direct. And, in my culture, an even playing field is assumed, with everyone’s needs and preferences being equal; while in hers, higher and lower status is assumed in every relationship (Equality vs. Status values). Chang was expected to put her parents’ preferences above her own; and due to her status, had limited ability to change the family situation.
Recognizing her value of Indirect communication allowed me to quickly adapt. I asked, “What advice would a wise older woman in your culture give you in this situation?” This is an indirect question honoring Status culture learning modes (not asking directly for what she thinks; and valuing learning from elders). Chang responded immediately with a culturally appropriate option, which led her deeper into exploring her situation.
Adapting to my client’s Status culture was harder for me. In my culture, the client would directly confront the problem and aim for external solutions to obstacles. But Chang needed to work around obstacles, not remove them. So, we began to explore heart attitudes and deeper understanding of her own needs in the situation. Chang chose a solution that focused on changing her inner reality (the one she had power to change), rather than changing her external one, which she had little control over.
Ethical practice in coaching requires sensitivity and adaptation to our client’s values; the ability to dance between cultures allows us to serve our clients with God’s love and grace across the cultural divide.
Can you pick up the language of culture and quickly adapt? If you want to grow as a cross-cultural coach, the six session course Introduction to Cross-Cultural Coaching — FOCOS Platform starts soon! This course will train you to recognize the signs and language of cultural values; learn strategies to adapt to cultural differences; and give you new techniques for juggling value priorities and leveraging cultural differences.
To download a simple chart of cultural values differences go to: Cross Cultural Values Chart
