“Jesus, how am I significant to you?”
This question touched both a deep desire and a deep fear in my life. Through this coaching session, I realized that many of my actions emerged from a desire for significance. Now, I was taking this deep desire to Jesus as I wondered what He would say. Jesus brought an image to mind: a heavy cloak lay on me. I felt the weight lift from my shoulders as Jesus removed it and replaced it with a cloak of feathers. He said, “Susan, you have tried to earn your significance through being responsible and working hard for me. I just want to be with you. You are significant to me because I love you and enjoy your presence. This cloak is light and beautiful because you are beautiful to me.”
The image and words of this coaching session have stayed with me throughout the years. I continue to ask Jesus questions like: Jesus, what do you love about me today? Jesus, I feel like a failure right now; how do you see me? Jesus, what does play look like for you? As Tony Stoltzfus states in Questions for Jesus, “When you pray for your desires, you aren’t asking for any temporal thing; you are requesting an intimate, relational encounter with Jesus.” (Location 130, Kindle version)
Our desires can drive our behavior or our emotions. When we identify our deep desires and have those met relationally by Jesus, we then freely move forward in new ways or with a new perspective. Without the heavy cloak of responsibility, I was confident to release roles that took much of my time and redirect my focus. My coach used a question for Jesus to evoke a new awareness and supported me in the process of living out of this new perspective. (ICF Core Competency # 7) Inviting clients to speak to and listen directly to Jesus is a powerful way of moving beyond the surface to engage the heart.
Coaching the heart requires the coach to maintain presence with the client, staying responsive and curious to what is happening in the client while allowing space for reflection and silence as the client speaks directly with and listens to Jesus. (ICF Core Competency # 5.1,2,6) It’s such a joy to see Jesus responding in ways that neither of us could have imagined and creating moments for true transformation.
If you are interested in learning more about prayer and coaching, this is the FP theme for September. A course and additional resources are also available; please see the courses tab to learn more! Additionally, you can check out Keith Webb’s recent article, Praying with Coaching Skills.
