An Impact of Presence
I remember one of my coaching sessions with a client a while ago. She was a team leader in an organization, and they were working on a crucial summer project. At our first session, she seemed visibly overwhelmed and stressed. She started to share:
“I don't know; it's hard to understand why we’re not making any progress. Our deadline with this project is two months from now, and we’re still talking a lot but not accomplishing anything. We planned, discussed, and agreed on what each of us would do, so why are we still stuck and not moving on? Nobody in this team has any initiative. I got tired.”
Her voice sounded firm, and I could sense her frustration. But it seemed there was a fog of emotion that she had not yet clearly named. Her strong, absolute statement on her team’s lack of initiative and progress impacted me, and I could sense her stress even physically. As I quickly brought my own emotional state into awareness, I became able to be fully present and bring a sense of acceptance and curiosity in exploration with my client. I had lots of questions. And she needed plenty of space to get in touch with what she wanted to build further in our coaching time.
What makes this project really important for you? I asked. As she started to share, her energy shifted, and her facial expression changed from tense to more relaxed.
As we continued to explore her emotions and beliefs, some patterns of how she approached new projects with her team became more visible. She became aware of how her own personality played an important role in how she felt things needed to be done. She also realized that some of her actions acted as a demotivating factor for her teammates. We built on that piece of awareness with some clear and simple actions. She came out with steps to assess her progress on asking her team more questions and telling less of her perspective.
As I was reflecting on that first session with my client, a few key learnings stay with me even today.
We need to pay attention to many different things during a coaching session.
It is extremely important that we are present with our clients and observe their personality traits, energy, and communication style.
On the other hand, we need to be self-aware and in tune with our own emotions, insights, and biases that may support or limit our capacity to be of help to our client.
Think of a time in your recent coaching experience when you needed to be present with your client while dealing with your own strong emotions, insights, or biases. How did you remain self-aware while adapting to your client?
Our capacity to be present while remaining self-aware defines a great coach's quality and competence. If you want to focus on becoming masterful in adapting to the client's unique style, personality, and values, check out these great courses coming up.
